A young Yeshiva-guy who had gotten recently engaged came to ask the Steipler (Rav Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky, 1899- 1985) for advice on how to build a solid Torah home filled with harmony.
The Steipler told him one rule to always keep in mind. “Until now, you have been in Yeshiva and you sat in your seat and leaned your Gemara on the shtender, portable podium, in front of you. Throughout the day, you moved the shtender around according to where you felt it was most comfortable. Here’s my advice: a wife is not a shtender!”
There is much to learn from this story. Firstly, how sometimes we begin to think that the world revolves around ourselves. Secondly, how to speak to someone on his own level. Thirdly…… I’ll leave it up to you to contemplate…..