One Year Yahrtzeit Article 25 Teves 5775

The Gemara (Gittin 68a-b) recounts that when Shlomo Hamelech was building the Bais Hamikdash he sent Binayahu Ben Yehoyada to retrieve the shamir worm from Ashmadai, King of the shaidim. Shlomo instructed him that the only way to capture Ashmadai was using a chain and signet ring engraved with Hashem’s name on it. After an entire process, Ashmadai was caught and the trip back to Yerusalayim revealed some strange reactions on Ashmadai’s part. Ashmadai, being a shaid, was privy to what was happening in the spiritual world. They passed by a festive wedding and Ashmadai wept. They passed by a shoemaker and a man ordered a shoe that would last for seven years at which Ashmadai laughed. They saw a diviner using his magic to try to locate a treasure and Ashmadai laughed again. Binayahu inquired about these reactions. Ashmadai explained: “I cried at the wedding because the chosson will die in thirty days and his wife will wait a long time for yibum. I laughed at the man who asked for a shoe to last him seven years as he won’t be alive in seven days. I laughed at the diviner because he was looking for a treasure while unbeknownst to him was standing on a large treasure buried right beneath his feet.”

There are three points that I would like to bring out from this story that I feel encapsulate rebbe.

1) Everything Rav Asher did had Hashem engraved on it. His actions were pure, lshem shamayim, he lived life always chaining himself to Torah and emes. What is “ratzon Hashem?” is the question that guided his every decision and action. He often talked about the Chanukah miracle when they found the oil sealed with the chosomo shel Kohen Gadol. He taught us the lesson of having Hashem’s seal and the seal of our zekainim (the Kohen Gadol) guide our haskafos and actions.

2) When talmidim used to tell rebbe, “I value Torah and so I’m going to go work and when I become rich then I’ll learn myself and support Torah!” Rebbe would answer, “but what will be with your Torah and olam hazeh now?” He taught us to dedicate as much time in the present studying Torah. We can’t make cheshbonos for the future, we must be koveih etim every day. We often take life for granted. At a wedding we forget that we don’t have unlimited time in this world and we order shoes to last for seven years with confidence. Rebbe pushed us to use our time wisely every day, starting in the present and not pushing off our ruchniyus to the unguaranteed future. No one knows how long he has, and thus we must use our time wisely each and every day. 

3) Like the diviner who was searching for treasure far away while sitting on treasure right beneath him, we too often look for treasure elsewhere and in distant places and yet we have a treasure right near us, our Torah heritage. Rebbe pushed us to make our kinyan in Torah and ruchniyus and to value what it means to be a Yid. Rebbe hammered the lesson into us: “Harchev picha viamalaihu (Tehillim 81:11), open your mouth and Hashem will fill it with ruchniyus and simcha. The greatest happiness and pleasure in this world is achieved by learning Torah, doing mitzvos and getting close to Hashem. Don’t let the yetzer hara, who is the biggest liar, tell you otherwise. His promise of pleasure and enjoyment are all lies and only leave you depressed.”

Rebbe dedicated his life to show that learning Torah all day in kollel like Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai is a valid option and histadlus as well (See Berachos 35b and Mishna Berura OC 156 (Biur Halacha, sofa betaila), OC 231 (Biur Halacha, bichol dirachecha) and Igros Moshe, [Yoreh Deah III:82]).

Rebbe quoted Rav Dessler (Michtav Me’eliyahu III, p. 355-60) who said that our mesorah is that the purpose of a yeshiva is to create gedoleim batorah. Rav Asher taught us about greatness and challenged us to reach for high levels in learning and bitachon. He always told over the words of the Chofetz Chaim, “raise your children to be gedolim in Torah and yirah, like this even if you fail at least they will be an erlich baal habayis. But if you raise them to simply be an erlich baal habayis, if you chas veshalom fail, they may be very distant from a Torah life.” Rebbe guided and challenged each of us to become great.

Rebbe told us stories to build our passion for Torah and avodas Hashem. He loved to tell over the quote from Reb Akiva Eiger where he writes that he came to a certain city and noted that it was very large with talmidei chachomim, sofrim and shuls: “aval ain aish hatorah boeres bikirbam, but they don’t have a brendt (passion) for Torah and life!” Rav Asher would scream those words and shake us up to serve Hashem with passion. This was Rav Akiva Eiger’s measuring stick.

Rebbe was very moved by a story that Rav Hanoch Teller shared with him. In the days of the new Palm Pilot you were able to share programs from one Palm to another via beaming. Rabbi Teller was on a plane showing the Yid next to him Torah texts that he installed. The man shared that he had just gotten a free-to-share version of Sefer Hamitzvos and offered to beam it over. Rabbi Teller readily agreed. The man initiated the process and Rabbi Teller told over that he froze when he saw the message on his Palm Screen: “Sharing 613 mitzvos, do you accept?” For a moment he had to think, do I accept to keep all 613 mitzvos?! That’s a big commitment. He got hold of himself and clicked ‘accept’. Rav Asher loved this story and said that this is what the Yom Tov of Shavuos is all about and in truth we make this choice every day. Hashem wants to have a relationship with us and wants to give us His mitzvos, are you ready to accept Him and His Torah? Rebbe would talk about the reaction of “mah ksiv bei, what’s written in the Torah?” which hinders one’s acceptance which must be “naaseh vinishma” (See Sifri Devarim 33:2 and Shabbos 88b)!

On September 11, 2001 after the Twin Towers Attack, rebbe gave an impromptu shmooz and began, “what would Rav Chatzkal say?” This was his gut reaction to any event. How would my rebbe react? Rebbe encouraged and taught us to think for ourselves but to always ask shailos to clarify. He taught by example as he always had an active relationship with a rebbe. When Rav Chatzkal passed away rebbe was mikabel Rav Shmuel Auerbach ybl”c as his rebbe. It was awesome to watch how rebbe sat at his feet and listened to his every word. He sent us to Rav Shmuel for berachos and important shailos at times. He told us that he never made an important decision in life from the time he was 17 without first discussing it with his rebbe.

Tzaddkim bimisasam keruyin chaim (Berachos 18a), his spiritual legacy continues to inspire us. Rav Asher was never embarrassed to share his own American background and how he had to work hard to grow. Many of us are similar to him in that way and were deeply moved by his story. In the mid 50s the Ponevezher Rav came to America to fundraise. Rav Asher was a young boy and heard him speak. He approached the rav and said, “I want to come learn in your yeshiva.” The rav told him, “my yeshiva is not for Americans, but I can recommend a few other places for you to learn in Eretz Yisrael.” Rav Asher was undeterred; in 1959 he arrived in Eretz Yisrael and showed up in Ponevezh. This was the place where he felt he could learn and grow, and he would not be stopped. He was accepted and spent five years learning under the Ponevezher Rav and Rav Chatzkal, his lifelong rebbe.

When my wife and I came to Eretz Yisrael for Yom Kippur and Sukkos a few years ago I let rebbe know about our trip. He called me to share that he and the Rebbetzin wanted to have us for a meal and we should please daven in the yeshiva for Yom Kippur. I told him we would be honored. Normally, in most yeshivos the Rosh Yeshiva does not take care of arrangements and so I asked him if there was someone I should contact to buy seats. He responded, “your reservations are already confirmed!” He ran the yeshiva and took care of anything that needed to get done. He never stood by his honor.

I once asked him why he invited certain speakers to deliver occasional shmoozin at the yeshiva when they were much younger than him. He told me, “I invite those speakers because they inspire my talmidim and myself with their divarim niflaim ad meod.” If someone inspired others that’s all Rav Asher cared about. He was not embarrassed to learn from those who were younger than him.  

The first time I ever spoke in the yeshiva during a Friday night seuda rebbe and his family were present. I was nervous to speak in front of him and tried to prepare something original. After I spoke he shook my hand warmly and said, “that was niflah, thank you for sharing! I hope you wrote it down to save.” I felt very good and most encouraged. After shabbos I commited it to writing and a few years later I found it. Suffice it to say, it probably wasn’t even shaimos, but rebbe found something to appreciate about it and encouraged me to write. Many talmidim sent him divrei Torah and he would save them all and often responded with a quick haarah or comment. I always felt good when he wrote back one of his, “wow, beautiful, niflah meod!” comments.  

Over the years, I heard rebbe give many hespadim, for Rav Avraham Pam, Rav Avigdor Miller, Rav Mordechai Gifter. He always talked about what we could take from them. I remember when Rav Shach was very sick he clapped on the bima and quoted the Gemara in Taanis (21a) about Nachum ish Gamzu, “as long as I am in the house, it won’t fall.” He explained that we daven “vikayem banu chachmei yisrael (siddur, shachris),” because this world is that house, weak and ready to collapse, it is only in the merit of our talmidei chachamim that the world is upheld. I remember that Friday morning when Rav Shach passed away, Rav Asher opened up the Gemara Kesubos (103b) about the day that Rebbe died and said we are all going to the levaya, “hahu koves, was upset that he missed the levaya and lost out on the inspiration.” He said, “we must honor Torah and take in the lessons of the niftar.” With that, he wiped away his tears, closed the Gemara and headed to the levaya with us following suit.

He always told over about how when a tzaddik passes away, his traits are up for grabs for all those who wish to take them. He quoted his rebbe, Rav Gifter who from a young age strived to be great by posting gedolim pictures on his wall and hanging a paper in the middle which read, “why not you?” Rav Asher showed each of his talmidim how to be great.

He was very strict about not taking on chumros. After Lag beomer he would come over to you, rub your beard and say, “Did you forgot to shave? What’s going on with you?” He did not let a bachur grow a beard or paiyos without justification. If you made a drastic change he would come over and talk with you unless it was regarding coming to shachris on time and learning with more simcha, that he fully encouraged. He never let us take on too much because he feared it would distract and hurt us. If someone in yeshiva was not eating properly or was exercising excessive perieshus he would talk with them and explain that Hashem wants us to take care of our health, enjoy this world and spend our efforts shteiging in Torah and avodas Hashem. Chumros can create resentment and haughtiness; focus instead on your learning and davening and that will bring you much joy.

His Care

Rebbe would tell me about difficult talmidim whose parents were giving him a hard time. He would say, “I’m not going to let go, this talmid can be a gadol batorah and he is my olam habah.” Every talmid whom he showed the derech haemes to was his olam habah. The more you fought with him after his shmooz claiming that he was asking too much from you or being too fanatical, the closer you became to him.

If you want maaseh nesim, I will share one. Rebbe told me himself that a talmid of his was unable to have children and he visited him in London to give him chizuk. The talmid kept pressing for a beracha. Finally, rebbe said, “okay, here’s a birchas hedyot, next year I should be back in London to be sandek by your son’s bris.” And that is exactly what happened! Rav Asher told me this story himself with a laugh, he said, “do you want to hear a joke?!”

Once, I decided to attend a fellow talmid’s wedding at the last minute. I quickly threw on a sweater and jacket neglecting to bring a tie. Rebbe noticed and called me to the side and said, “at Toras Simcha weddings we wear a tie and suit out of respect for the chosson!”

When he was at a wedding, he would announce, ‘men on this side and women on this side.’ He felt that it was important to maintain the kedusha and he saw this as his job especially if he was misader kiddushin.

His Wedding Custom

A very beautiful thing that I watched rebbe do tens of times at every wedding of one of his talmidim was to call over the father of the kallah and extoll the praises of the chosson. “Do you know how lucky you are to have a such a chashuv chosson?! I know that your daughter must be a real special person if she is marrying this young man!” The father would walk away beaming and reassured that his daughter was with the right person. I knew about his custom and used to watch for it at any wedding we were at together just to catch a glimpse of the large smile it produced. Many fathers of kallos recounted to me how much those comments meant to them. One father-in-law told me that he gained new respect for his son-in-law hearing the beautiful words that Rav Asher shared about ‘his prized talmid’. Another person told me that when his son-in-law was debating how much longer to stay in kollel, he reminded him, “your rebbe, Rav Asher, told me about your great potential in Torah and I see it as a zechus to help support you so you can spend your time learning. What can I do to help you with this goal?”

Rav Asher’s encouragement went even further. He would come over to the chosson and kallah and wish them a beracha to build a true Torah home and to be great and never mediocre. He would tell the kallah she has a responsibility to encourage her husband to be a gadol batorah. Every time he would speak with the wives of his talmidim he would ask how their husbands were treating them and encourage them to help their husbands learn more, “he has great middos now and the more Torah he learns, the better he will treat you and the more beracha and simcha you will have in your home.”